“Just be yourself and everything will be fine!” How often have we heard these words of encouragement recited to everyone from little children entering a new school to job applicants preparing for an important interview? After all, individuality distinguishes us from others; it makes us stand out as someone special, right? But I seem to share in philosopher Eli Khamarov’s observation, “I guess I’ve spent my life listening to what wasn’t being said,” because in the admonitions to “just be yourself” I often have the nearly uncontrollable urge to insert the addendum “within reason.”

American society seems to have this uneasy, love/hate relationship with individuality. We claim to appreciate that which is “new and different”; it just can’t be “too different.” And at those rare moments when something “new and different” does catch on it seems that the first order of business is to copy it endlessly until what was once unique and perhaps just a bit quirky becomes hopelessly commonplace.

Sometimes we even become upset when a creative person that we once admired continues to “reinvent” himself or herself every so often in an effort to maintain his or her originality and individuality. The late Michael Jackson with his continually evolving appearance and singer Madonna and her ever changing musical style are just two examples that come immediately to mind.

I also find it interesting when individuals speak with immense pride regarding the “rugged individualism” that made America great and then in the next breath condemn the immigrant who chooses to assert his individuality by continuing to speak in his native language when he is out with his friends. Or what about the stares that black-attired “Goth” youths or heavily pierced and tattooed individuals draw from strangers on the street? Aren’t these folks simply “being themselves”? And if that’s the case, why are so many “haters” still looking sideways at them?

“Just being yourself” is no small feat; individuality requires a great deal of courage. Author, entrepreneur and motivational speaker, T. Harv Eker, in his article March to the Beat of Your Own Drum describes it best. He talks about how children are conditioned at a very early age to

“stay inside the lines” as well as how those who fail to do so are often subjected to social sanctions involving shame, ridicule and ostracism designed to bring them into line. The ability to push back against social convention and express ourselves in our own unique way is definitely not for the faint of heart.

So with all of the obstacles and pitfalls associated with expressing our individuality why should anyone take such a risk? Essentially, I believe that making the decision to showcase our differences despite the perils involved is not unlike making any other major decision in business or in life. It all boils down to a cost versus benefits analysis.

Many of us have probably encountered at least one situation in either or business or personal lives that carried a fair amount of risk (or a least enough to give up that seasick feeling when we contemplated the possibility of failure) but which also presented the possibility of very attractive gains should the venture be successful. So, when decided whether to take the risk to “be ourselves” we need to weigh the costs against the potential benefits.

From a personal perspective, I think that the benefits associated with expressing our individuality far outweigh the costs, especially in the long term. When we force ourselves to wear a mask or play a role that is at odds with who we really are on a daily basis, the resulting stress and discomfort is bound to be detrimental to our health, job performance and relationships.

Marching to the beat of our own drum may result in skeptical snickers or even outright criticism at first. But the freedom and power that comes with being able to approach the world in a way that is most comfortable for us often results in greatly improved performance and efficiency. When we excel as a result of having remained true to ourselves early critics will often change their tune.

I also think that it is important to remember that some of the greatest discoveries and innovations were advanced by people who weren’t afraid to assert their individuality despite experiencing sometimes very severe criticism. Jesus Christ, Benjamin Franklin, the Wright Brothers and Albert Einstein were among many non-conformists whose courage to be themselves despite the often severe ridicule of others, changed our world in extremely significant ways.

Finally, individuality is really what keeps the world interesting. How awful would it be if everyone were exactly alike, not only in superficial ways like style of dress but also in thoughts, words and actions (try reading George Orwell’s 1984 or consider the activities of Nazi Germany or the Ku Klux Klan for a better idea of what I mean).

While some may argue that conformity prevents chaos suppressing our individuality to too great an extent can be even more detrimental.