Sadly enough, due mostly to economic conditions (but also sometimes other reasons), many “boomerang children” are returning to the nest.  It can be painful for all concerned, as most adult children don’t ever want to return to the family homestead once they leave, even if it is only temporary.  And sometimes, unfortunately, it’s not.  What appeared to be a temporary situation that might only last a few weeks can sometimes evolve into months or even years.

How about the parents who are hit with the news that John or Mary is moving back in with them, as they can no longer make it on their own?  It doesn’t seem they really have any choice in the matter, as it’s hard to be a parent and watch your child flounder, no matter what age they are.

An even more difficult situation is when the adult child moves back in with their family – spouse and children.  Adjustments of all kinds on all sides have to be made, and a lot of times the general feeling in the home is that everyone is walking on eggs.

To make things easier, it’s a good idea to set down some ground rules for everyone. 

Because they are graciously being allowed to live there, the child (and their family, if it applies) should be willing to help out in any way they can so as not to place a huge extra burden on their parents.  They should work out a list of chores (including keeping their quarters presentable, doing their own laundry, taking turns in the kitchen with cooking and/or clean up, outside errands, and anything else to reduce the workload and stress).

The question of money should also be raised.  Can the returnee(s) afford to pay anything toward housekeeping expenses or mortgage payments?  If not, how will that be handled?  Perhaps it can be agreed by all that if it isn’t possible at the present time to pay anything toward their keep that it can be billed and paid at a later time, if and when circumstances allow that to happen.  There’s not much that parents can do at this point, except hope that things will turn around as soon as possible.

Another possibly sticky situation is that concerning guests of the boomerang child and his family.  If they wish to have a party or a few friends over, is there somewhere they can entertain without disturbing or disrupting the parents’ routine?  If there isn’t and it wouldn’t be comfortable, that needs to be brought out into the open, too.  Compromise is the word here.

Perhaps the most important thing parents should ask is how long the boomerang child expects to be back at the nest.  If it’s clearly a matter of finding work, parents should ask to be kept in the loop as to how the job search is going.

As difficult as these living arrangements may be, everyone will have to do all they can to make the best of it.  Boomerang children returning to the nest means major adjustments for all involved; but with consideration on everyone’s part, it can work out okay.