A Chinese wedding. There are a myriad of regional, ethnic and cultural variations to the traditional Chinese wedding. Most cultural anthropologists agree that the basic structure used today comes from around 300 BC when three books outlining etiquette, ritual and custom were written.

According to the Ministry of Commerce in China, urban couples spend an average of 16,600 American dollars with more than half of this going towards living quarters. Rural couples spend about a quarter of this. This amounts to about 20 times the average monthly income.

First there are negotiations. The grooms parents first seek the aid of a feng shui expert to see if the marriage is in the stars so to speak. If all goes well there, then the brides parents are contacted. The brides parents may seek their own feng shui expert to see if this marriage has any hope. Like parents anywhere Chinese parents hope and seek the best partner for their child. Modern children may allow for the arranged marriage or strike out totally on their own. Most find themselves somewhere in the middle.

Then there are negotiations about the Wedding Banquette. Hosted by the grooms family there is still input from both sides. How many guests can turn out to be a huge issue and take some time to sort out. The date is then set and on with the party.

In today’s urban settings the bride and groom may well contribute the largest part to the wedding funds. The old tradition of multi-generations under one roof is a thing of the past. Many couples spend close to 70% of there wedding funds on securing housing and a car before the actual wedding.

The day of the wedding is a long affair. The bride spends the evening or perhaps as long as a week with her girlfriends. They bemoan her loss to the groom and help her to prepare for the big day. In the old days the groom would have a capping ceremony on the morning of his wedding, receiving a new name and an introduction to manhood. Today it is more likely that his groomsman and family will meet at his parents house and off he’ll go to get the bride.

The groomsman are expected to bribe the bridesmaids into letting the groom in at the house of the bride. This is done with little gifts and money. The groom and the bride then serve her family tea and receive gifts. Then off to the grooms house for tea and gifts with his family. These rituals may have taken several days in the past wherein today are usually a part of the wedding day itself.

The wedding ceremony then takes place. This may be attended by only a few or by many depending on religious preference. It may be simply a trip to the government registrar.Oddly enough not the most important event of the day.

Then the banquette. This is the real celebration with as many as twelve courses and plenty to drink. During the appetizer course the bride and groom will greet each table with a toast. The bridal party of both bridesmaids and groomsmen will then tease the new couple by playing tricks and games. Each course and food item usually represents a hoped for virtue in marriage such as longevity or happiness.

Guests to the wedding banquette are expected to grace the bride and groom with packets of money to help defray their costs. This is a time when future weddings are announced. Red is the standard wedding color.

The new bride and groom are expected to visit with both families after the wedding day to confirm that indeed all is well.

Things are definitely changing rapidly as a recent poll cited in the People’s Daily online states that wedding pictures were the most important thing for 85% of new couples and 78% felt that the banquette was the nest most important. This may be because more and more couples live a long way from home and the parents of the bride and groom may live great distances from each other.